How Do You Eat A Sandwich That's As Big As Your Head?

One huge bite at a time. Actually you eat one half and save the other for dinner, two meals for a total of $8.50! The other day while working downtown I was tasked with the job of picking up some spicy Sopressata and Italian bread to bring home for dinner. During my lunch hour I ran over to Aleva (on Grand and Mulberry) to pick up the Sopressata then on to Parisi Bakery (Mott just above Kenmare) to pick up my favorite 'Three Meat Bread', which is currently making my stomach growl at the thought of it. I'd always known that Parisi made sandwiches but I didn't expect there to be a huge line that trailed out onto the sidewalk...what a bummer. I thought maybe I could jump the line and just pick up the bread at the counter, but from the look of the patient patrons on line I am sure one of them would have gutted me like a pig if I attempted to do so. Back of the line I went to watch the extremely slow sandwich makers cater to all the people ahead of me. You know what? It was a blessing in disguise and I decided why not get a sandwich while I was there...oh yeah! Ideas fluttered inside my head. Salami, Turkey, Bologna, Onions, Sweet Peppers, Fresh Mozzarella...Fresh Mozzarella. I had to have Fresh Mozarella on my sandwich. Just then one of the guys behind the counter plopped a gigantic sandwich, filled with what looked like heaven, right in front of me, the bastard! I had to have one. Inside was Breaded Chicken Cutlets, Fresh Mozzarella, Roasted Red Peppers, Oil and Vinegar all on a huge Semolina Roll...at least that's what I deducted. It was by far the largest single, non-party sandwich I have ever seen. "Next!" The guy behind the counter yelled and quickly I scooted forward to tell him I would have the same as the guy before me. He replied with "works everytime", to which I said "What works?" So Naive. He said that almost everyone orders the same thing when they see that sandwich getting wrapped on the counter. Who cares I thought, as long as it's good, oh yeah and I need a loaf of bread. That was one heavy bag! That sandwich must have weighed like 10lbs. or something close to it and I was raring to get my chompers onto it (into it?). When I finally sat down and unwrapped the monstrosity from the paper I sat in complete awe of it's enormity. Was this thing in front of me really a sandwich? Was it akin to a football player on steroids? Was it going to eat me instead? Of course I could only finish a half, it took way too much energy to get my mouth around the whole thing, I kind of felt like a mini-person. Actually I was a little embarrassed sitting there in the lunch room fearing my fellow employees might think I am a bit ridiculous for eating a sandwich that large. I'm a little ridiculous every once in a while. Not feeling too defeated, I re-wrapped the other half of the sandwich, something I had never done before...in my entire life, and placed it back in the bag from which it had previously come. Ok I felt really defeated, but honestly it was so delicious that I guess it didn't matter afterall. I am happy to report that the other half was just as delicious when I ate it for dinner but it didn't completely wipe away the disappointment from earlier in the day. Oh well!